sometimes…well all the time my feelings are jumbled up into a ball so I have this multi-colored ball rolling around in the depths of my heart and when I try to express how it feels it comes out like I’m speaking in tongues or something. I guess I don’t know how to say how I feel all the time. I’m 22 and I feel like I should be healthy enough to form very close relationships with people but I’ve never even had a real boyfriend. I also feel like God has planned this for me bc Im not ready to love someone when I haven’t fully cared for myself in the way I should. I go back and forth between why am not evolving with someone and then I say I shouldn’t be with anyone until I fix everything about my self. Will he even except my naked body that I don’t even like sometimes? Will he see my body and want to find someone better? I almost feel crazy bc my emotions flip flop so much. I feel too much. There’s not enough emojis in the world to explain whats going on up here. I’m a just bursting firework of every emotion and memory I’ve ever had.